Saturday, May 5, 2012

The Avengers Movie Review


[The Avengers
Written & Directed by Joss Whedon
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo
MPAA: PG-13 - For Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence & Action Throughout, and a Mild Drug Reference]

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Saturday, April 28, 2012

God Bless America Movie Review



[God Bless America
Written & Directed by Bobcat Goldthwait
Starring: Joel Murray and Tara Lynne Barr
MPAA: R - For Strong Violence and Language, Including Some Sexual Sequences]

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Saturday, April 14, 2012

The Raid: Redemption Movie Review


[The Raid: Redemption
Directed by Gareth Evans
Starring: Iko Uwais, Joe Taslim, and Doni Alamsyah
MPAA: R - For Strong Brutal Bloody Violence Throughout, and Language]

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The Cabin in the Woods Movie Review


[The Cabin in the Woods
Written & Directed by Drew Goddard
Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, and Fran Kranz
MPAA: R - For Strong Bloody Horror Violence & Gore, Language, Drug Use, and Some Sexuality/Nudity]

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Okay, here's the thing. I'm very adamant when it comes to refusing to spoil movies. But with all that being said, reviewing Cabin in the Woods is like the ultimate Catch-22. I can tell you that, as of now, it's my favorite movie of 2012, it's the most fun I've had in the theater in a long-ass time, and it's basically heaven for a guy who's seen countless horror movies such as myself. That being said, I can't tell you why I think all those things, because the thing that makes Cabin so very special is the element of surprise. There are movies with twists, that usually build up to one final twist ending that changes your perception of everything before such as The Sixth Sense and Citizen Kane; and then there are "twist movies" that slowly unravel twist after twist after twist consistently throughout the running time, such as Duncan Jones' modern sci-fi classic Moon. And I really can't think of a better movie that fits the latter category as well as Cabin in the Woods, which is so chock-full of surprises, critics all around the internet are practically castrating anyone that even dares to spoil the movie.

So here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to do the same thing that I did in my Catfish review, in which I'll go and just give you guys my Final Verdict early, and then dig deeper into some mild spoilers. Don't worry, I won't reveal anything that wasn't revealed in the trailer, but I still think that it's best to go into this movie as clean as you possibly can. You've been warned.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Top 10 Found Footage Movies Of All Time

[The following blog post was found in the middle of the woods, corresponding the mysterious disappearance of Z-list internet blogger Enigma Bigglesworth VanNoLastNameInParticular. What you are about to read is entirely real.]

The found footage film has officially become a genre in and of itself. At first, it was a neat little gimmick employed to provide eerie realism to low-key horror films. Now however, we have comedies and action films joining the found footage bandwagon. With recent flicks like Chronicle and Project X expanding what a director can do with the gimmick, we also find that the gimmick is stretching itself thin. There are so many films claiming to be found footage now, that it is starting to get rather tired taking X genre but applying it to the found footage aesthetic. But I still do remember a time long ago where this gimmick was fresh, inventive, and clever. And today, I'm honoring those films that still feel fresh, inventive, and clever in its use of the found footage gimmick, even during a period of time where there's been a glut of this sort of movie. So without further ado, here are my picks for the top 10 found footage films of all time...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Hunger Games Movie Review


[The Hunger Games
Directed by Gary Ross
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Stanley Tucci
MPAA: PG-13 - For Intense Violent Thematic Material And Disturbing Images]

Yes, I know this review is late to the party.

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Saturday, March 10, 2012

John Carter Movie Review




[
John Carter
Directed by Andrew Stanton
Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, and Willem Dafoe
MPAA: PG-13 - For Intense Sequences of Violence and Action]

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To give you a super brief, one-sentence summary on my thoughts on John Carter: I almost didn't want to review this film, but I did anyway because the film's backstory is more interesting than the actual movie itself. The movie itself is a serviceable and fun, but bland and generic sci-fi/fantasy yarn. The story in which it's based on, however, is...well...

Silent House Movie Review



[Silent House
Directed by Chris Kentis and Laura Lau
Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, and Eric Sheffer Stevens
MPAA: R - For Disturbing Violent Content and Terror]

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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Take Shelter Movie Review



[Take Shelter
Written & Directed By Jeff Nichols
Starring: Michael Shannon, Jessica Chastain, and Kathy Baker
MPAA: R - For Some Language]

"True! --nervous --very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses --not destroyed --not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily --how calmly I can tell you the whole story." ~Edgar Allen Poe's Tell-Tale Heart

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Julia's Eyes Movie Review


[
Julia's Eyes
Directed by Guillem Morales
Starring: Belén Rueda, Lluís Homar, and Pablo Derqui
MPAA: NR - Contains Violence, Brief Language & Nudity, and Some Disturbing Images]

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[This Review Contains Very Mild Spoilers]